There's nothing I enjoy more than being close to you, my arms wrapped tightly around you, the warmth of your breathe hitting my neck. There's no goosebumps, it's more comforting to feel your steady breathing. When you're close enough, I can feel your heart beating against my own chest. Sometimes it's slow, relaxed. Other times it's beating rapidly and I wonder if it's me that causes it like you do to my own. That very familiar sensation of it skipping a beat or beating so hard that I swear you and everyone else within a 5km radius can hear it thundering. Lately it's been mostly you that's the cause of that. The physiological responses like flushed skin, that enjoyable mild lightheadedness, the way you smell takes over my brain and I can't focus on anything else in the moment.


When I think back on the past three months, what my life was like before this, I don't often understand the how I survived. It seems so different now, that I was perfectly fine alone in the world, keeping people at a distance and focusing more on myself. Now I can't imagine doing that. It's not me that I can come home to. I have something else. I have you. I'm invested now. It's as if this perfect situation fell into my lap. I know that I probably don't deserve it, that I'm certainly not worthy of it, but I have it now and I'm going to cling to it. You're my main priority and my number one need.


I told you that you're my home and I stand by that. There's nothing like having someone you can depend on, someone reliable, someone who will take care of you when you need it most. It's comforting to know that this caring, wonderful presence is always around, always available to me. There are things I can tell you that I can't mention to anyone else, things that I wouldn't dare bring up out of fear. I know that even on the worst of days, I have someone in my corner wanting to make me feel heard or make me smile. That's all I could ever ask for in my life.


I want to do the same for you, to provide the comfort and relief from every day life that you give me. To be the keeper of your secrets, the one you want to talk to when something goes wrong. I want to be the person you trust the most to listen and if that's all you need, I'll listen. If you need more, I want to be there. Advise, backup, whatever it is. I want to be your protector, your defender, your champion. All the joy and happiness you give to me, I want to return. I want to be your home.


Summer's been busy and full of work, ups and downs, missed connections and that's okay. I'm content with it. I know it's a part of what we do so I will cherish the moments we can have together. From the silly nights of sitting on the sofa and trying to annoy you enough to pay attention to me, to the date nights and new places I get to explore in my own city. Every moment with you is a new memory, a new way of getting to know you, a chance to pick your brain or get your eyes on me, to see that gorgeous smile of yours. All of these little things about you, about us, they make my heart pound. You continue to make me nervous even months after. That's how much you mean to me, how important you are to me. I think everyone should know that.