Looking back on a year ago, I feel sort of awful about it. It's not even because I didn't get to spend it with you or that I was miserable. It's because I don't remember much of it and I credit that to you. That probably sounds like a lot of rubbish, but honestly, it isn't. I remember dinner with someone else and a fight and awkward time after. It wasn't anything special. It wasn't like the previous years before with you. It just wasn't right.
Nothing was right, though, if I'm being honest. Nothing was right for months.
But what's made me realise that I can't really remember is that I really don't care too. That's a time in my life that I'd like to put behind me. It just simply doesn't matter anymore. It happened, it's over, I've moved on. That's all.
What has also happened is that you've made the rest of last year and the start of this the best time in my life that I ever could have imagined and that's a big reason that I can stand here together and say big things like that. You've made me realise that I have plenty to live for, plenty to look ahead at and a whole lot of better things to focus on in front of me than behind me.
It's because of you that I've found a reason to be happy, especially given the ever evolving state of the world today. With so many ups and downs, unknowns and variables we can't control in our lives, I know there's at least one constant in mine and that's you. That's your love. Our love. It's something we share, something I'm fortunate enough to wake up to every day and never have to wonder whether or not I still have it. I know that no matter what happens between us, there will always be an us. There will always be our love and that's the most comforting thing in the world to me.
There's only a few ways that I know how to really, truly thank you for all that you've done for me and my life and one of those is loving you for the rest of my life no matter what and the other... Well. The other is for you to figure out.
I love you so much.